I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
