when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
