I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
