i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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