Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
