Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
