Im at strip club and am horny
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
