would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I need to sanitize my soul.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
