I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
