You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
