if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
