I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
