yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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