and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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