you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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