There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
