dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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