Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
