Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
