Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
