I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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