Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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