My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
