I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
