the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
