Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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