How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
