if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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