I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
