She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
