I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
