i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
