at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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