just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
