Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
