so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
