I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize