You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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