you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize