I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
How naked do you want me to be?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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