you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
