The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize