This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
