We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
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Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
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What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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