4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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