I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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