The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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