dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
