Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
People in love make me want to vomit
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
