Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
