I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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