i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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