I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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