Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
