i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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