I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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