i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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